Meet Danielle. She’s a total fox, and refuses to age without a fight. But that battle hasn’t come cheaply or easily. She plays tennis three times a week, does Pilates twice, and does not eat dairy, gluten or sugar. She got a boob job 7 years ago so her figure is a frequent topic of discussion out on the golf course with the Friday afternoon banking crowd. Just as she hopes. She gets Botox every three months, fillers in her laugh lines, just completed her follow up microblading appointment, has had laser hair removal on every part of her body except her head (which receives bi-monthly keratin treatments along with $175 highlights). She recently got lip injections for the first time (ouch!) and lip blushing (ouch!) and now her lips really pop against her veneers. Danielle has the pain tolerance of a Navy Seal. When she wakes in the morning she barely has to do anything to get ready thanks to her tattooed eyeliner and lash extensions. And that’s good because it frees her up to get regular facials and see her new personal trainer. Sprinting backwards towards youth is a full time job, requiring a huge salary, so it’s a good thing Danielle is married to the city’s foremost proctologist Dr. Harold “The A$$ Man” Nedermeir. He loves to say “someone has to take care of all the a$$holes in this city!” at every cocktail party, or fundraiser, or soccer game, or golf game, or swim meet... Her favorite song is “Scars to Your Beautiful”.
Meet Elizabeth. She has a giant Goldendoodle, Charles, whose exuberance for life can be endearing for some, but downright dangerous for others. Upon greeting newcomers to her home, Charles immediately jumps up to lick their faces - sometimes springing up into the air and crashing into their nose.
She goes into the pool restroom barefoot. She worked a stint in the infant room at a daycare center and was completely unphased by the diaper changing and poop getting on her fingers. Bodily fluids do not bother Judes, regardless of whether they come from human or animal.
Now that she's in her thirties, and still single, she finds it a bit harder to endure her romantic ideals but she will not give up hope! Surely there is a gorgeous man out there who loves to talk about his feelings, monogamy, loves to buy little presents for no reason, would totally get her sense of humor,
