Meet Danielle. She’s a total fox, and refuses to age without a fight. But that battle hasn’t come cheaply or easily. She plays tennis three times a week, does Pilates twice, and does not eat dairy, gluten or sugar. She got a boob job 7 years ago so her figure is a frequent topic of discussion out on the golf course with the Friday afternoon banking crowd. Just as she hopes. She gets Botox every three months, fillers in her laugh lines, just completed her follow up microblading appointment, has had laser hair removal on every part of her body except her head (which receives bi-monthly keratin treatments along with $175 highlights). She recently got lip injections for the first time (ouch!) and lip blushing (ouch!) and now her lips really pop against her veneers. Danielle has the pain tolerance of a Navy Seal. When she wakes in the morning she barely has to do anything to get ready thanks to her tattooed eyeliner and lash extensions. And that’s good because it frees her up to get regular facials and see her new personal trainer. Sprinting backwards towards youth is a full time job, requiring a huge salary, so it’s a good thing Danielle is married to the city’s foremost proctologist Dr. Harold “The A$$ Man” Nedermeir. He loves to say “someone has to take care of all the a$$holes in this city!” at every cocktail party, or fundraiser, or soccer game, or golf game, or swim meet... Her favorite song is “Scars to Your Beautiful”.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
