This is Griselda - a 3rd generation female drug cartel boss. She's been surrounded by opulence since birth. By age 19 she was a master equestrian, an amateur race car driver, a legendary sharpshooter, and an accomplished flirt. She's rumored to walk around at parties with a baby alligator on a diamond leash, surrounded by bodyguards. Her first husband, may he rest in peace, was murdered outside of a Colombian café by a rival cartel. Her second husband, may he rest in peace, was kidnapped by yet another cartel and eventually strangled. Her third husband, may he rest in peace, just disappeared one day and his body was found months later due to an anonymous tip. When her hit men carry out a hit, they walk calmly through the streets with a trio of musicians following behind to signal and serenade the coming carnage. She is a legend and will one day be imprisoned on charges of money laundering, but will only serve 5 years. There are many Colombian folk songs written about her, but her favorite band is still Menudo.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
