Meet Lauren. She’s a mom. Lauren has been there for her children every step of the way. There was that time her 2 year old got into his poopy diaper at quiet time and played in it for 30 minutes before he was discovered- poop was in every crevice in that room. Or how about the absolute agony she endured pushing her
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She just dragged the groom out onto the dance floor and tried to twerk in front of him. She heckled the single ladies gathered to catch the bouquet (something along the lines of “IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!”) and just asked the mother of the bride for a cigarette. 😬
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She’s not nearly as perfect as she seems, and that makes you like her a little more doesn’t it?
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This is Griselda - a 3rd generation female drug cartel boss. She's been surrounded by opulence since birth. By age 19 she was a master equestrian, an amateur race car driver, a legendary sharpshooter, and an accomplished flirt. She's rumored to walk around at parties with a baby alligator on a diamond leash, surrounded by bodyguards. Her first husband, may he rest in peace, was murdered outside of a Colombian café by a rival cartel. Her second husband, may he rest in peace, was kidnapped by yet another cartel and eventually strangled. Her third husband, may he rest in peace, just disappeared one day and his body was found months later due to an anonymous tip. When her hit men carry out a hit, they walk calmly through the streets with a trio of musicians following behind to signal and serenade the coming carnage. She is a legend and will one day be imprisoned on charges of money laundering, but will only serve 5 years. There are many Colombian folk songs written about her, but her favorite band is still Menudo.
