This is Griselda - a 3rd generation female drug cartel boss. She's been surrounded by opulence since birth. By age 19 she was a master equestrian, an amateur race car driver, a legendary sharpshooter, and an accomplished flirt. She's rumored to walk around at parties with a baby alligator on a diamond leash, surrounded by bodyguards. Her first husband, may he rest in peace, was murdered outside of a Colombian café by a rival cartel. Her second husband, may he rest in peace, was kidnapped by yet another cartel and eventually strangled. Her third husband, may he rest in peace, just disappeared one day and his body was found months later due to an anonymous tip. When her hit men carry out a hit, they walk calmly through the streets with a trio of musicians following behind to signal and serenade the coming carnage. She is a legend and will one day be imprisoned on charges of money laundering, but will only serve 5 years. There are many Colombian folk songs written about her, but her favorite band is still Menudo.
This is the new Amy. This Amy would never have a gross refrigerator. She's not that kind of person. She's clean, organized and fresh. She feels sorry for the people with dirty fridge shelves and expired chicken stock boxes. She can't imagine having a 2 year old jar of pepperoncini peppers with mold on the inside of the lid. That's no way to live and Amy is glad she's the right kind of person. Yesterday Amy had two bags of clothes designated for Goodwill in her dining room corner. They'd been there for 2.5 months, eventually becoming invisible.
She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, wreaking havoc anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like – she “just doesn’t feel right about leaving the house“ if she’s not completely put together.