Meet Lauren. She’s a mom. Lauren has been there for her children every step of the way. There was that time her 2 year old got into his poopy diaper at quiet time and played in it for 30 minutes before he was discovered- poop was in every crevice in that room. Or how about the absolute agony she endured pushing her
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She just dragged the groom out onto the dance floor and tried to twerk in front of him. She heckled the single ladies gathered to catch the bouquet (something along the lines of “IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!”) and just asked the mother of the bride for a cigarette. 😬
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She’s not nearly as perfect as she seems, and that makes you like her a little more doesn’t it?
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Heeeeere comes Laura! So, she was on her way to the panhandle area initially. Then somewhere along the way she met up with Marco, who came from Cuba. Whoa boy. He is a charmer and a looker but he’s one of those guys that never lives up to his potential. And he’s a total mooch - trying to join up with any woman he sidles up next to. Oh Laura wasn’t one to seek attention and was coasting along relatively mildly, but then she met up with Marco, and all hell has broken loose. Now, I don’t know exactly what all happened between them out there over the Gulf, but I’ve heard it said it involved thousands in cash, a one-legged stripper, 3 cigars and a PT Cruiser. 🤷♀️ Whatever it was, Laura has LOST HER DANG MIND. She’s changed her plan and is now headed straight for Louisiana, God help us all. She is completely on the warpath. She will visit many cities along the way, raging and dumping her tears all over anybody in her path. Hell hath no fury, etc. If you see her, take shelter. If you hear that new Taylor Swift song, “Mad Woman” on the wind, you’ll know sh*t’s about to go down. It’s her current fave.
