Heeeeere comes Laura! So, she was on her way to the panhandle area initially. Then somewhere along the way she met up with Marco, who came from Cuba. Whoa boy. He is a charmer and a looker but he’s one of those guys that never lives up to his potential. And he’s a total mooch - trying to join up with any woman he sidles up next to. Oh Laura wasn’t one to seek attention and was coasting along relatively mildly, but then she met up with Marco, and all hell has broken loose. Now, I don’t know exactly what all happened between them out there over the Gulf, but I’ve heard it said it involved thousands in cash, a one-legged stripper, 3 cigars and a PT Cruiser. 🤷♀️ Whatever it was, Laura has LOST HER DANG MIND. She’s changed her plan and is now headed straight for Louisiana, God help us all. She is completely on the warpath. She will visit many cities along the way, raging and dumping her tears all over anybody in her path. Hell hath no fury, etc. If you see her, take shelter. If you hear that new Taylor Swift song, “Mad Woman” on the wind, you’ll know sh*t’s about to go down. It’s her current fave.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’