Meet Rebecca. She’s that mom who overdoes it with back to school. She has somehow managed to assign her internal evaluation of herself as a mother and overall human being to how well she dominates back-to-school each year. She managed to casually slip in that her kids had finished their summer work June 30th, and asked how yours is coming along. She has her children’s Back to School signs professionally made and they are the size of her actual children. They detail each child’s age, grade, height, which sports they play, aspirations, favorite food, biggest role model, biggest strengths, astrological sign, blood type, and every accolade they’ve ever received (hello, PE Star of the Week, 2019). Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day. Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’ Breakfast will consist of a movie style food spread – muffins, pancakes, sausage, bacon and eggs. On display will be gift sets for each child including a new set of pajamas (matching), new Stanleys, a giant bag of candy, and new bikes.
