Meet Lora. Lora breeds Angora rabbits. What started out as a hobby after receiving one for a pet 6 years ago has now become an obsession. Lora’s friends say she’s changed but she doesn’t see how. Okay so maybe she wears angora sweaters all year round, which of course accounts for how brilliantly white her skin tone has become, but she happens to be cold natured. The scrutiny she’s receiving from friends and family about her lifestyle habits has caused her to become a closeted salad eater. She craves lettuces and raw veggies - locking herself in the bathroom to scarf down an erotically fluffy pile of glistening, quivering romaine...mmm. After enjoying a quick suckle of water from a squirt bottle held aloft, she heads off to find her husband, Steve, for yet another quickie (it’s gotten up to four times daily - poor Steve is chafed and exhausted). Then she hops right on over to the fridge for a handful of long, firm carrots. The other day, as Lora was spreading a third layer of cedar mulch in the plant beds surrounding her home’s perimeter, she heard a strange noise. Her head shot up, hair in her face. She couldn’t see so she sniffed in the air, frozen in place. It turned out to be just a squirrel but she hopped right on inside to be safe. Steve looked on from their living room window with concern before running to hide in the closet for fear of a third quickie that day. Lately she’s been incorporating her two large front teeth in their activities and he’s a little scared.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
