Meet Donna. Until two days ago she had been pretty satisfied with her house. She has nice taste and often receives compliments when people come to visit. She’s up on the latest decor trends and she loves spending money and time on little touches for her home (within reason). Then the other day her husband told her that his best friend from college and his wife are coming to stay for a weekend next month. The one who founded and then sold a financial advisory firm. The one with 3 houses and kids in boarding school. And then it was as if the devil’s own filter of deception hath been removed from her eyes and Donna saw what her home truly was. A sh*thole. How on earth has she allowed her carpet to get so filthy?? What kind of slovenly chump would turn their head at pen marks all over the couch slipcover?? How could she possibly have thought her guest room decor was attractive?? IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE AN EN SUITE!!!!! 😱😱😱 Donna is about to embark on an monumental fluffing of her already lovely home in an effort to impress these people that she will come to find genuinely don’t care, and love her home. Her favorite song is “Glamorous” by Fergie.
There’s a reason I love this iconic Brunschwig “Les Touches”! She plays well with both prints and solids!! TAKE HER HOME!
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
