Meet Rose. She’s just the sweetest thing you ever did meet, and cute as a button, but she’s dumber than a post. Rose is from a tiny town in Minnesota called St. Olaf. Rose learned many valuable life lessons growing up, and one of her favorite pastimes is recounting them to her best friends. Some of our favorites: “You can lead a herring to water but you have to walk really fast or he’ll die”. “Norwegians are notoriously bad at Spanish.” “It’s like we say in St. Olaf - Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund’s Day without the headless boy.”
Typically these lessons and parables have nothing whatsoever to do with the topic of conversation but Rose has her own version of wisdom that we’d all do well to try and interpret. Her favorite song is “Every Rose Has it’s Thorn” by the great Poison.
Meet Elizabeth. She has a giant Goldendoodle, Charles, whose exuberance for life can be endearing for some, but downright dangerous for others. Upon greeting newcomers to her home, Charles immediately jumps up to lick their faces - sometimes springing up into the air and crashing into their nose.
She goes into the pool restroom barefoot. She worked a stint in the infant room at a daycare center and was completely unphased by the diaper changing and poop getting on her fingers. Bodily fluids do not bother Judes, regardless of whether they come from human or animal.
Now that she's in her thirties, and still single, she finds it a bit harder to endure her romantic ideals but she will not give up hope! Surely there is a gorgeous man out there who loves to talk about his feelings, monogamy, loves to buy little presents for no reason, would totally get her sense of humor,
