Meet Rose. She’s just the sweetest thing you ever did meet, and cute as a button, but she’s dumber than a post. Rose is from a tiny town in Minnesota called St. Olaf. Rose learned many valuable life lessons growing up, and one of her favorite pastimes is recounting them to her best friends. Some of our favorites: “You can lead a herring to water but you have to walk really fast or he’ll die”. “Norwegians are notoriously bad at Spanish.” “It’s like we say in St. Olaf - Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund’s Day without the headless boy.”
Typically these lessons and parables have nothing whatsoever to do with the topic of conversation but Rose has her own version of wisdom that we’d all do well to try and interpret. Her favorite song is “Every Rose Has it’s Thorn” by the great Poison.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
