Meet Elena. She luuuuuvs men and is very free with her affections, if you know what I mean. Elena has been with them all - tall men, short men, thin men, stocky men. She’s been with hairless men slick as a seal pup, and men so furry their chest hair got tangled up in her earring. Some have mommy issues. Okay lots of them have mommy issues. One in particular told Elena on their first date that his mother would have to approve of her before a second date could commence. Some of them had some very strange bedroom preferences - Elena has worn furry animal costumes, a Wonder Woman costume, and even a power suit. She’s had to be a schoolgirl, a Ghostbuster, Janet Reno, that one guy’s mother, a cafeteria lady, a turtle, and a traffic cone. She’s heard countless hours of stock portfolio bragging, how much bros can lift, which animals various guys think they could beat in a fight, and more political opinions than she can handle. And through all this Elena yearns for someone NORMAL. But until he comes along, she’ll continue keeping her mind, her weekends, and…everything else open for Mr. Right. Her favorite song is “It’s Raining Men” by the Weather Girls.
If you watch long enough it will flash to a close-up of this MAGNIFICENT Schumacher embroidered fabric. It is absolutely magical. This is a Bespoke Collection bag so you can choose the hardware. There are only a handful of these so snatch them up while you can!
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
