Mrs. Claws

Mrs. Claws

Meet Mrs. Claws. You’re much more acquainted with her husband, of course, with his miraculous trip to each child on earth every Christmas. His distribution of that perfect gift that was exactly what was requested - the delight contained in the stockings Christmas morning. Oh, isn’t he exalted!! But what you may not know is that Mrs. Claws is the real power behind the man. Guess who spends all year caring for the elves? She arranges meals, ensures that bunks are kept tidy, tends to illnesses, oversees workroom cleanup efforts. Who do you think keeps tabs on naughty and nice behavior? Who do you think maintains the wish lists? Women are big on lists. Fat, bearded, jolly men...not so much. She’s so good at noting the casual mention of a wanted toy in June, sure to produce it come December. Each year, throughout the year, she scurries around keeping the entire crew in the North Pole on task, cleaning up mug after mug after mug of Santa’s cocoa. Sometimes she longs for their college days when he was just Nick, the good time, slightly chubby linebacker type who could chug a beer in 30 seconds. Forty years later and that “ho ho ho” chuckle is on her damn nerves. But, she has an important role to play, keeping the ship tight. There are so many toys to be made and elves to be managed. She works diligently and, for her efforts, watches her husband receive all the glory. But she loves him, and is proud of what they have built together. And she’s excited for the Range Rover that she has the elves working on that will be Santa’s gift to her this Christmas. Her favorite song is “Santa Baby” of course.



Also in Purse Profiles

Margaret
Margaret

Meet Margaret. Her 7 year old daughter plays rec soccer and Margaret IS NOT HAVING ANY OF THE OTHER TEAM’S SHIT. Do you hear me?? Little McKenna loves to get out on the field and just have fun running around with her friends.

Continue Reading

Barbara
Barbara

Barbara claims to support the middle class, but her plan would create a 534% increase in taxes. In 2016 she was seen rolling her eyes at an elderly person at the supermarket. 

Continue Reading

Ruth
Ruth

Meet Ruth- she’s tiny but mighty. She’s intense, and somewhat quiet but may be one of the most intimidating women ever. Ruth grew up in a working class family but was brilliant, and ended up attending Cornell where she met her outgoing, gregarious husband - the first boy she’d ever dated who actually cared that she had a brain. 

Continue Reading