Meet Katie. Isn’t she just the sweetest, most lovely, feminine thing you’ve ever seen? She has long, flowing hair that’s a rich chestnut with natural (😉) threads of subtle gold running through it. She always wears those gorgeous @suesartor dresses and looks like she’s floating whenever she walks. She smells of orange blossom and lavender, and is the envy of every woman who knows her. But when she walks through her front door and shuts the world out behind her, she immediately lets out an offensive, violent burst of gas that she’s been holding in all day. Off come the Spanx and the padded bra. Out come the hair extensions. She leaves that gorgeous dress crumpled in the middle of the floor as she changes into sweat pants with a hole on the thigh, and a t-shirt from a company function 11 years ago. In go the Crest white strips, on goes pimple cream and a little more deodorant because she was a little ripe. Her sink still contains dishes from 2 days ago, and that bra she took off has been worn daily, without being washed, for 2 weeks. She’s not nearly as perfect as she seems, and that makes you like her a little more doesn’t it?
Meet Elizabeth. She has a giant Goldendoodle, Charles, whose exuberance for life can be endearing for some, but downright dangerous for others. Upon greeting newcomers to her home, Charles immediately jumps up to lick their faces - sometimes springing up into the air and crashing into their nose.
She goes into the pool restroom barefoot. She worked a stint in the infant room at a daycare center and was completely unphased by the diaper changing and poop getting on her fingers. Bodily fluids do not bother Judes, regardless of whether they come from human or animal.
Now that she's in her thirties, and still single, she finds it a bit harder to endure her romantic ideals but she will not give up hope! Surely there is a gorgeous man out there who loves to talk about his feelings, monogamy, loves to buy little presents for no reason, would totally get her sense of humor,