Meet Vicky. She had to marry Dennis, owner of 10 bounce house franchises who is 30 years her senior and loves to “playfully” smack women on the ass. Vicky is fairly repulsed by Dennis but she grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and always knew she would make something of herself. Dennis was her ticket out. Now Vicky drives a custom pink Mercedes sedan, with airbrushed nails that have matching pink flowers. She has a chandelier in her closet. Her towels are monogrammed and she only carries logo handbags. She leaves her sunglasses on indoors, “forgetting” to take them off. Vicky gets a spray tan once a week and has a face full of Botox at age 31. She has graduated up to a size F bra, thank you Dennis. And she shows those puppies off every chance she gets! Vicky insists on chartering small planes as often as possible and posts social media photos in front of every single one. Vicky has money and you’d better know it. Her favorite song is “Glamorous” by Fergie. TAKE HER HOME!
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’