Meet Ssstacey. She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, wreaking havoc anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like - she “just doesn’t feel right leaving the house” if she’s not completely put together. She told Kim last night that she overheard some ladies at tennis saying that she drinks too much. She hit on poor, pudgy Tom at Lisa’s birthday dinner just to show that she could make him blush, and then announced “Tom are you actually blushing??” loudly to the entire table. Stacey says things like “don’t worry about what people like Dana think - I know the real you” when you thought Dana liked you. Or “you should really take advantage of Mary’s weight loss and see if she’ll give you some of her gorgeous dresses”. She tempts and tempts you with wine and juicy, ripe gossip and then when you finally eat the apple she slithers away to betray you and reveal your admissions. Her favorite song is “Cold Hearted Snake” by Paula Abdul. TAKE HER HOME!
Tabitha! Play us something on the banjo!" Oh, Tabitha would demure. She would play bashful, vehemently shake her head that this is not the time and place, but of course everybody in the room would insist and begin playfully chanting her name. She would reluctantly break out her banjo and begin to pick the strings deftly.
Birds are her life. While you were binge watching Below Deck Down Under she was comparing the migratory patterns of the artic tern to the western meadowlark.
Has Delilah double-booked?? She definitely did the first week of summer and they missed VBS. She'll check her calendar. She does know that her son has a sleepaway baseball camp in three weeks. Maybe that's when she and her daughter go to the lake...
