This is Victoria and yes, she’s a thespian. Victoria has performed in 4 productions at the Community Theater of Cleveland, and was once the understudy for “Street Urchin #3” in a traveling production of Les Miserables. Victoria is so method she spent a week living on the sidewalk outside of her apartment to prepare for the role, but unfortunately the actress awarded the part was able to fulfill her duties for the entirety of the show’s run. Everything with Victoria is drama - she loves wearing velvets, she keeps Depeche Mode on repeat in her car, she’s been madly in love with Johnny Depp for 100 years. And yes, still wearing that black choker. Victoria is not a party girl. She’s too busy contemplating the deeper meaning of life and the emotional undertones of the common aspects of the human condition. She believes this helps her to strengthen her acting muscles, plus it’s easy to do while she’s manning the help desk at Dave and Busters (yes they’re still around). Her favorite fashion statement is and has always been dark florals with combat boots and velvet. She prefers her hair black as night, and wears a fake nose ring. Sometimes on weekends when her roommate isn’t home she drinks 6 White Claws, puts on Lily Pulitzer and listens to Barbie Girl while she cries into the mirror.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
