Hey y’all, this is Eleanore. Look out she’s coming in for a hug! Eleanore is a hugger...big time. This is not a bad thing, of course, but she’s one of those people who doesn’t just do a quick hug. She stretches it out, rocking back and forth, and sometimes even starts rubbing your back. And you try to let go but she won’t let go so it just continues. She also doesn’t make any great effort to keep the hug upper body only, so sometimes you have this awkward, below-the-belt contact thrown in the mix. Then when she finally releases you, she holds you out at arm’s length by your shoulders and makes intense, friendly eye contact. And calls you “sweet girl” or “gorgeous”. I mean, it’s all very sweet and innocuous but it really takes a solid fortitude and constitution to endure this without getting flustered. Or, if you’ve known her forever - which most people have - then you’ve come to appreciate it. For her friends and family, Eleanore is like coming home. She might come up behind you for an embracing assault while you’re mid-conversation with someone at a party. She might come at you for a sudden squeeze at the grocery store if you look sad. You might as well give into the bereavement bear hug if you’re at a funeral - you don’t stand a chance. Anyway, get used to Eleanore. She’s a warm light in an often cold world. Her favorite song is Don’t Stand So Close to Me, ironically.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
