Meet Molly. If you tune into WIDK morning news at 6 AM each morning inSunnyville, Nebraska, you will see Molly, stumbling through a report about a local wiener dog race. Her blonde bob and splotchy, earnest eye make up a fixture on the local news scene. When Molly was studying journalism in college, she quietly assumed she’d rise through the ranks to eventually anchor the Today Show , quipping adorably back-and-forth with Al Roker. But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets. The handshakes at Walmart. She doubts any of them even know where Wall Street is, those hicks! What Molly really wants is a story she can sink her teeth into. Bribery! Murder! Insider trading! These are subjects worthy of the talent that Molly knows lies deep, deep, deep, deep within her. And she is willing the universe to send them her way because that’s her only ticket out of this hellhole. But while she waits, she will inform her viewership about Barney, the four year-old dachshund who runs at the speed of a crawling infant, and wears a tiny cowboy hat for public appearances. All with a strange, half-smile on her face and hatred in her heart.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
Once Casey committed to the idea of a sexy Halloween costume, she became inundated with ideas. A firefighter, but make it sexy with a short skirt, heels, suspenders, and a phallic fire hose. Or what about a police officer? She could see herself in a skin tight black dress with a cute police hat, aviators, and a phallic night stick....
