This is Alexis and she’s about to graduate from college! Poor thing has missed the end of her senior year but she’s faithfully scrapbooked all four years of her experience so she’s been pouring through the photos, ticket stubs, wrist bands and sorority date night t-shirts, reliving it all. There was that date night when she had no dinner and too much Captain Morgan and Coke, and ended up puking all night in her date’s apartment . Or how about when the security guard caught her smoking on the roof of her sorority house and she mooned him? Hope she appreciates that this is probably the best her ass will ever look. There were spontaneous road trips that involved piano bars, all-nighters, game days that ran long into the night, women’s studies classes, giant auditorium classes, band parties. One band party she got up on stage and did the talking part of David Allan Coe’s drunken anthem You never Even Called Me by My Name (“Well a friend of mine named Steve Goodman...”). She received multiple proposals that night for her efforts. So raise a glass to the graduates of 2020. It’s not an ideal end, but they still have 22 year old asses and their whole lives ahead of them! Alexis’s favorite song is “I Had the Time of My Life”. What a wonderful graduation gift this would make! A little something to take out into the world that strikes a sophisticated, stylish tone for the next adult chapter in life! Love this Lee Jofa (Kelly Wearstler) print, and the shiny medallion on top! Tap the photo to shop it and a few of its cousins!
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
