This is Alexis and she’s about to graduate from college! Poor thing has missed the end of her senior year but she’s faithfully scrapbooked all four years of her experience so she’s been pouring through the photos, ticket stubs, wrist bands and sorority date night t-shirts, reliving it all. There was that date night when she had no dinner and too much Captain Morgan and Coke, and ended up puking all night in her date’s apartment . Or how about when the security guard caught her smoking on the roof of her sorority house and she mooned him? Hope she appreciates that this is probably the best her ass will ever look. There were spontaneous road trips that involved piano bars, all-nighters, game days that ran long into the night, women’s studies classes, giant auditorium classes, band parties. One band party she got up on stage and did the talking part of David Allan Coe’s drunken anthem You never Even Called Me by My Name (“Well a friend of mine named Steve Goodman...”). She received multiple proposals that night for her efforts. So raise a glass to the graduates of 2020. It’s not an ideal end, but they still have 22 year old asses and their whole lives ahead of them! Alexis’s favorite song is “I Had the Time of My Life”. What a wonderful graduation gift this would make! A little something to take out into the world that strikes a sophisticated, stylish tone for the next adult chapter in life! Love this Lee Jofa (Kelly Wearstler) print, and the shiny medallion on top! Tap the photo to shop it and a few of its cousins!
This is the new Amy. This Amy would never have a gross refrigerator. She's not that kind of person. She's clean, organized and fresh. She feels sorry for the people with dirty fridge shelves and expired chicken stock boxes. She can't imagine having a 2 year old jar of pepperoncini peppers with mold on the inside of the lid. That's no way to live and Amy is glad she's the right kind of person. Yesterday Amy had two bags of clothes designated for Goodwill in her dining room corner. They'd been there for 2.5 months, eventually becoming invisible.
She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, wreaking havoc anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like – she “just doesn’t feel right about leaving the house“ if she’s not completely put together.