This is Andrea, and no she’s not wearing that leather choker ironically. Also yes, she’s high. Andrea is such a free spirit. She’s always up for an adventure, constantly traveling, no desire to settle down. Andrea is stunningly beautiful and over the years has had a string of lovers including but not limited to a cannabis farmer, a Silicon Valley executive, a Shaman, three bass players, a cattle rancher, and a mall Santa. She’s always lightly tanned and has the kind of hair that doesn’t need to be blow-dried. But she doesn’t shave her armpits, which makes you feel a little superior (deservedly). Andrea does peyote three times a year in a teepee somewhere in the Mojave, and writes spoken word poetry about the “painted sunsets” there. She believes, more than a little, that octopi spring from alien DNA that arrived on a meteor millions of years ago, and that mushrooms are the doorway to the 5th dimension. Andrea’s favorite song is anything by Jefferson Starship (but she had to work really hard to acquire that taste). .
Tiff and Ham host various hunts each year at their country home, so they have five bird dogs used primarily for these occasions. Tiff makes a big show of adoring these dogs but secretly she hates them because they’re always sniffing her crotch while she tries to make pleasantries with their guests. What most people don’t know about Tiffany is that her birth name is Kiki Byrd and she is actually from a small town in W. Virginia where she worked as a cashier at Dairy Queen for several years...
Meet Mary. She’s had many odd hobbies over the years. There was the time that she spent four months enthusiastically geocaching with an online group. Or the time she tried to put together a Quiddich team after watching Harry Potter. Mary has tried soap carving and beekeeping, but her latest hobby has really raised some eyebrows. She recently took up taxidermy.
Kate runs a thriving charity benefiting the homeless and somehow has time to be a doting mother to four children. And has her yoga certification. And no chin hairs....