This is Angie and her life’s work is to make you wish you were her. She CAN’T BELIEVE you haven’t been to the Maldives. You haven’t lived! She went with the guy she’s dating a few months ago and ended up on a yacht with Orlando Bloom where he totally hit on her - ugh he’s such a jerk for that. When you ordered a salad at lunch the other day she humble bragged that you are so good, and that she just has to get cheeseburgers and fries whenever she eats out. She wishes she had your self control (in truth she only eats salad at home). Angie never leaves the house without full makeup and a perfectly coordinated outfit. When applying makeup she smiles at herself after each step. Foundation, step back and smile. Blush - smile. Eye shadow- smile. Eyeliner - excited surprised face! You get the drift. She figures out the interests of her friends’ boyfriends and husbands, and then studies up on the highlights so she can act like she knows all about it when she hangs out with them. This is all totally transparent and you take solace from that time last year when she got drunk and admitted to you that she has Irritable Bowel Syndrome and that her periods have become unmanageable.