This is Angie and her life’s work is to make you wish you were her. She CAN’T BELIEVE you haven’t been to the Maldives. You haven’t lived! She went with the guy she’s dating a few months ago and ended up on a yacht with Orlando Bloom where he totally hit on her - ugh he’s such a jerk for that. When you ordered a salad at lunch the other day she humble bragged that you are so good, and that she just has to get cheeseburgers and fries whenever she eats out. She wishes she had your self control (in truth she only eats salad at home). Angie never leaves the house without full makeup and a perfectly coordinated outfit. When applying makeup she smiles at herself after each step. Foundation, step back and smile. Blush - smile. Eye shadow- smile. Eyeliner - excited surprised face! You get the drift. She figures out the interests of her friends’ boyfriends and husbands, and then studies up on the highlights so she can act like she knows all about it when she hangs out with them. This is all totally transparent and you take solace from that time last year when she got drunk and admitted to you that she has Irritable Bowel Syndrome and that her periods have become unmanageable.
Tiff and Ham host various hunts each year at their country home, so they have five bird dogs used primarily for these occasions. Tiff makes a big show of adoring these dogs but secretly she hates them because they’re always sniffing her crotch while she tries to make pleasantries with their guests. What most people don’t know about Tiffany is that her birth name is Kiki Byrd and she is actually from a small town in W. Virginia where she worked as a cashier at Dairy Queen for several years...
Meet Mary. She’s had many odd hobbies over the years. There was the time that she spent four months enthusiastically geocaching with an online group. Or the time she tried to put together a Quiddich team after watching Harry Potter. Mary has tried soap carving and beekeeping, but her latest hobby has really raised some eyebrows. She recently took up taxidermy.
Kate runs a thriving charity benefiting the homeless and somehow has time to be a doting mother to four children. And has her yoga certification. And no chin hairs....