Rooney is constantly grooming herself which can seem very self-absorbed but then you look at her and she's so damn cute, and she just loves you so much you'll forgive her anything. Even the fact that she pukes...a lot. You've tried to explore whether or not she has a problem but you've basically just decided it's something you have to live with. Your husband also hates her, and basically refuses to acknowledge her but he'll never understand your bond. You love her in spite of the fact that she always wants to sit directly on your keyboard - how has it not broken yet? Or
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Abigail knew she had to step up her game. Now she will only listen to music on vinyl records, she has taken up smoking Virginia Slims, and is vegan, of course. Abigail wears thick-rimmed tortoise shell glasses that are not prescription and are totally unnecessary. She wore overalls last Tuesday. She is planning a pilgrimage next year to visit the childhood homes of dead Pulitzer Prize winning authors who have died what she considers to be "tragic deaths" in order
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Meet Donatella. Her family owns the Gucci empire and she's not subtle about it. Well...by her "family" it's really a second cousin once-removed by marriage on her step-mother's side. And Donatella lives in Columbia. South Carolina. Also her real name is Emily but she insists Donatella is a family name. That does not stop her from establishing her questionable lineage in the most public and sensational ways possible, all over town!
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Ansley. She’s an aspiring author, but to tell you the truth, her writing is a little...basic. She’s toying with modern romances but she keeps returning to words like ‘heaving’, ‘throbbing’ and ‘pulsing’. Since she was a teen, Ansley has tried to smell fear but has found it to be odorless. She stares intensely into people’s eyes trying to detect anything other than what they’re conveying - fear? Love? Mischief? Are their eyes sparkling or did they just sneeze? What are all these books actually talking about??? Last month she ran into a friend at a party who had been watching her from across the room for an hour, trying to get her attention. The hairs on the back of her neck hadn’t even stood up!!! 🙄 She is convinced that her senses are failing her - how is she ever to become the next J.K. Rowling or E.L. James random first-time-author genius at this rate? Never mind her pen name would have to be A.F. McGilicutty and that doesn’t have the same ring to it. A.F. McGilicutty is not a name that springs forth an international panty-dropping bestseller about a teenage girl wrapped up in a love triangle between a zombie and a talking polar bear. HAWT! Nor does it sound right for a novel about a ball-busting female attorney who encounters a brash construction worker outside of her office and develops a contentious, and eventually heartwarming romance with him. What an unlikely duo!! She really loves how he doesn’t put up with her crap - how refreshing! Maybe she should think about a book series revolving around a detective that turns into a unicorn by the light of the moon and falls in love with a deer that has cancer... -
