Ansley. She’s an aspiring author, but to tell you the truth, her writing is a little...basic. She’s toying with modern romances but she keeps returning to words like ‘heaving’, ‘throbbing’ and ‘pulsing’. Since she was a teen, Ansley has tried to smell fear but has found it to be odorless. She stares intensely into people’s eyes trying to detect anything other than what they’re conveying - fear? Love? Mischief? Are their eyes sparkling or did they just sneeze? What are all these books actually talking about??? Last month she ran into a friend at a party who had been watching her from across the room for an hour, trying to get her attention. The hairs on the back of her neck hadn’t even stood up!!! 🙄 She is convinced that her senses are failing her - how is she ever to become the next J.K. Rowling or E.L. James random first-time-author genius at this rate? Never mind her pen name would have to be A.F. McGilicutty and that doesn’t have the same ring to it. A.F. McGilicutty is not a name that springs forth an international panty-dropping bestseller about a teenage girl wrapped up in a love triangle between a zombie and a talking polar bear. HAWT! Nor does it sound right for a novel about a ball-busting female attorney who encounters a brash construction worker outside of her office and develops a contentious, and eventually heartwarming romance with him. What an unlikely duo!! She really loves how he doesn’t put up with her crap - how refreshing! Maybe she should think about a book series revolving around a detective that turns into a unicorn by the light of the moon and falls in love with a deer that has cancer... -
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’