This is Celia. She's the queen of Dublin, GA. I know she has mastered the refined Southern lady vibe but friend, Celia has a bonfire ready to flare up at a moment's notice. She plays tennis but always pre-games with mimosas, and once told Patricia on Team B that she wishes she WOULD serve that first serve at her face and she'll knock her so hard she'll think the ground flew up and hit her. She monograms everything with a matching shade of celadon to create a calming mood in her home, but if her husband pisses her off and walks out of the room, she shoots him a bird so aggressively that her middle finger leads her across the room as if on autopilot. Celia is a really good time on the porch after dinner but after her best 3 stories she gets windy as a sack full of farts. She's delightful in most ways, just don't cross her. She ahs been a season ticket holder to Georgia games for 35 years. GO DAWGS!
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
