This is Celia. She's the queen of Dublin, GA. I know she has mastered the refined Southern lady vibe but friend, Celia has a bonfire ready to flare up at a moment's notice. She plays tennis but always pre-games with mimosas, and once told Patricia on Team B that she wishes she WOULD serve that first serve at her face and she'll knock her so hard she'll think the ground flew up and hit her. She monograms everything with a matching shade of celadon to create a calming mood in her home, but if her husband pisses her off and walks out of the room, she shoots him a bird so aggressively that her middle finger leads her across the room as if on autopilot. Celia is a really good time on the porch after dinner but after her best 3 stories she gets windy as a sack full of farts. She's delightful in most ways, just don't cross her. She ahs been a season ticket holder to Georgia games for 35 years. GO DAWGS!
Meet Candi. She has been telling everybody since October 15th (casually, in passing, to everybody she comes in contact with) that she is done with her Christmas shopping. It’s almost as if she doesn’t realize that this will elicit praise and envy…almost. But the little sniff she makes at the end of her sentence is her poker tell. It gives her away that she’s just knowingly bragged and is anticipating a wave of self-satisfaction as the recipient dutifully gushes over Candi and her superior life choices.
Meet Mrs. Claws. You’re much more acquainted with her husband, of course, with his miraculous trip to each child on earth every Christmas. His distribution of that perfect gift that was exactly what was requested - the delight contained in the stockings Christmas morning. Oh, isn’t he exalted!
Meet Tina. She gets triggered easily, but she means well. Lately she’s been trying to clean up her language - for the kids. She’s learning how unsatisfying “gosh” and “darn” are. “Rats” is just completely off the table, and she’s on the fence about whether or not it’s ok to say “crap”.