Meet Margaret. Her 7 year old daughter plays rec soccer and Margaret IS NOT HAVING ANY OF THE OTHER TEAM’S SHIT. Do you hear me?? Little McKenna loves to get out on the field and just have fun running around with her friends.
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Barbara claims to support the middle class, but her plan would create a 534% increase in taxes. In 2016 she was seen rolling her eyes at an elderly person at the supermarket.
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Meet Mrs. Claws. You’re much more acquainted with her husband, of course, with his miraculous trip to each child on earth every Christmas. His distribution of that perfect gift that was exactly what was requested - the delight contained in the stockings Christmas morning. Oh, isn’t he exalted!! But what you may not know is that Mrs. Claws is the real power behind the man.
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Meet Dorian. Dorian is the biggest asshole you know. In early September he sailed up the east coast from south Florida to the Outer Banks and she's talked about it nonstop for weeks. It was all "teak" this and "starboard" that. Douchebag. Dorian is that guy that says he's coming to stay, so you stock up. But then he takes FOREVER to get there - one minute he's coming, next minute he's decided to stay over in the Bahamas for obnoxiously long (they hate him there). By the time he does get to your house, you're hammered and you've had 5x the carbs you intended (he's a fat shit so you got all junk food). He completely trashed your house, is full of bluster and hot air, and wet the bed. You have missed 3 days of work, have a terrible headache and have to spend two days cleaning up after him. Last I heard he was heading out to the Atlantic for God knows where. What a douchebag.
