This is Heather and she is a social justice warrior. Heather is happily engaged to Tom, who has agreed to take her last name when they marry in a civil ceremony officiated by her former womyn's studies professor in the backyard of Ruth Bader Ginsburg's childhood home. When expressing her world view (which she does often), Heather refers to herself as a "cisgender female" but is quick to add that there are 51 acknowledged gender options. She knitted her own vagina hat for the Women's March in an effort to be ironic. Heather attended UC Berkeley and now runs a nonprofit committed to establishing and funding safe space crying rooms in 15,000 colleges and universities in the US by 2025. She is currently not speaking to Emily from work because she wears hoop earrings and that is cultural appropriation.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’