This is Heather and she is a social justice warrior. Heather is happily engaged to Tom, who has agreed to take her last name when they marry in a civil ceremony officiated by her former womyn's studies professor in the backyard of Ruth Bader Ginsburg's childhood home. When expressing her world view (which she does often), Heather refers to herself as a "cisgender female" but is quick to add that there are 51 acknowledged gender options. She knitted her own vagina hat for the Women's March in an effort to be ironic. Heather attended UC Berkeley and now runs a nonprofit committed to establishing and funding safe space crying rooms in 15,000 colleges and universities in the US by 2025. She is currently not speaking to Emily from work because she wears hoop earrings and that is cultural appropriation.
Kate runs a thriving charity benefiting the homeless and somehow has time to be a doting mother to four children. And has her yoga certification. And no chin hairs....
This is the new Amy. This Amy would never have a gross refrigerator. She's not that kind of person. She's clean, organized and fresh. She feels sorry for the people with dirty fridge shelves and expired chicken stock boxes. She can't imagine having a 2 year old jar of pepperoncini peppers with mold on the inside of the lid. That's no way to live and Amy is glad she's the right kind of person. Yesterday Amy had two bags of clothes designated for Goodwill in her dining room corner. They'd been there for 2.5 months, eventually becoming invisible.
She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, wreaking havoc anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like – she “just doesn’t feel right about leaving the house“ if she’s not completely put together.