IRIS

IRIS

Meet Iris. It’s 3:17 am and she can’t sleep...again. 

Her inner dialogue:  ‘Just going to relax and go right back to sleep. I’m not worried about this at all. I’m so relaxed. Shit did I remember to cancel my dentist appointment for tomorrow afternoon?? I wonder what time they open? Stop thinking, go back to sleep. *——————-* What should I make for lunches? Do we have any turkey? 

 

Call 1-800-STEEMER, Stanley Steemer gets carpets cleaner!

 

 oh God I’m remembering that time I started my first job out of college and plastered my cubicle top to bottom with college photos. I must have seemed so childish. Childish, childish, childish, childish - that doesn’t even sound like a word. Childish, childish. Relax and go to sleep! *——————-* I wonder who “the ayatollah” is. I’ve always heard that name. I feel like I should know. I’ll Google it in the morning. 

 

Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan...

 

 Oh God I can’t believe I ever dated Steve that is SO embarrassing. He gave me HPV and now I think of him every time I get a Pap smear (what a disgusting name for a procedure). Douche. Should I douche? Nah. 

 

 Call 1-800-STEEMER, Stanley Steemer gets carpets cleaner!

 

 Oh God I’m remembering that time at Elizabeth’s wedding when I had that huge zit on my back, and for some reason I wore a backless dress and a bunch of people thought it was a mosquito bite. Also, I’m sure they didn’t. Mortified. How can I walk around this earth with any confidence knowing that happened??? Crap I’m not going back to sleep. I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow. Listen to that motherf*%#! next to me snoozing away. Must be nice.’ Her favorite song is Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics. 

 





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