Meet Jade. She’s a stay at home mom who’s getting her certification to be a yoga instructor - and you’re going to hear all about it. Jade rocks those spandex pants around town looking like a 12 year old boy from the waist down. She has a never ending supply of Lulu sports bras with all manner of straps on the backs. She’s always drinking some kind of green juice and won’t shut up about gut health. Jade breastfed her kids until they were 5, and her claim to fame is that yes, she tried out that Goop jade egg. 😏 Although she struts her new age health, she buries herself in the pantry 3 nights a week with a pint of ice cream and eats the whole thing. Ice cream all over her face and in her hair. Of course her favorite song is Ice Ice Baby. -
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
