Meet Poppy. She’s very prepared. By day she rolls her eyes at the hysteria surrounding the coronavirus. By night, she reads every article about it, imagining the worst-case scenarios. To avoid looking hysterical she started buying an extra 5 canned goods at her grocery outings back in mid-February. She got the second to last industrial-sized hand sanitizer at Sams. She’s washed her hands 20 times and it’s not even lunchtime. Her fingers are peeling. Poppy has enough toilet paper to prep for a colonoscopy every day for two months, and she bought additional ammo at Walmart today in case things get apocalyptic. Poppy looks so sweet and chipper but don’t try and raid her stash of Clorox wipes or you’ll find yourself on the business end of a Sig Sauer. Her favorite song is “Fever” by Peggy Lee.
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