Meet Jana. She’s about to kill her husband. Not the way you and I are in this quarantine, but I mean an actual life insurance, fake-an-accident kind of way. So listen to this: Jana met Brad at a low country boil hosted by a mutual friend (an attorney who would eventually become “their” attorney). He was wearing a pastel-color button-down, casually rolled-up sleeves and top two buttons unbuttoned. Jana looked lovely and fresh in her sundress and young boobs. Brad was tanned, young, confident, and a total prick. But he was very nice to her, so his prickish behavior towards others almost felt powerful to Jana. He was and still is a property developer and was riding a wave of success that would eventually make him one of the wealthiest and most influential people in their city. They married in a huge, elaborate, society pages type of wedding but their fairytale marriage darkened quickly. Brad could not, would not stay faithful. He slowly began to become dismissive of her, ridiculing her observations and opinions, belittling her consistently, and ignoring her the rest of the time. Jana’s anger and resentment have built and built over the years, but two weeks ago she caught him sexting with the 25-year-old nanny and she snapped. This had to be the 15th affair, and that’s of the ones she knew about. His infidelity had become a very open secret among their extended circle. Humiliating. Knowing that a divorce would leave her in a bad financial position and blacklisted from most local society and that Brad would retain their top-notch attorney from that fated oyster roast long ago, Jana has decided that an “accident” is the best option. She has planned and fretted, cried, and seethed. And tomorrow night, they will take a sunset cruise on their power yacht, where she will serve him his favorite dry martini, containing a little something extra, after which he may slip and fall overboard...and leave her to start anew with Manuel (Manuel???!!) Stay tuned... Eeek exciting! Will she do it?? Can she follow through?? Who is Manuel?? WHAT WILL SHE WEAR??!
Tabitha! Play us something on the banjo!" Oh, Tabitha would demure. She would play bashful, vehemently shake her head that this is not the time and place, but of course everybody in the room would insist and begin playfully chanting her name. She would reluctantly break out her banjo and begin to pick the strings deftly.
Birds are her life. While you were binge watching Below Deck Down Under she was comparing the migratory patterns of the artic tern to the western meadowlark.
Has Delilah double-booked?? She definitely did the first week of summer and they missed VBS. She'll check her calendar. She does know that her son has a sleepaway baseball camp in three weeks. Maybe that's when she and her daughter go to the lake...
