Meet the Liberty London collection! This is Krissy, Ginny, Neilie, Emmy, and Claudia. They all live in the same neighborhood but they are handling the pandemic in their own ways. Krissy was overheard ridiculing everybody’s impulsive toilet paper purchasing at Target two days ago as she was pulling a 547-roll package of Charmin from the shelves. I mean, she’s only buying it because all these other idiots are going to make it so there’s none left! 🤷♀️ Ginny went straight to the wine aisle the second school closures were announced. She also convinced her PCP to call in an advance on her Xanax prescription. In two weeks’ time, she’ll be the primary pusher for all the moms in the neighborhood. This will solidify her high social status for the next 5 years. Neilie resents the idea of quarantine and immediately booked a beach vacation for the following week for she, her husband, and her kids. Nobody will be there and the rates are great. F*ck it. Emmy cannot stay off Facebook ever since things really hit the fan. She sees this as 100% political and has been faithfully pumping biased news articles into her feed hourly since Tuesday. She also loves shaming the rest of the country about having to be told to wash their hands, pointing out in every way possible how much SHE has always washed her hands. This handwashing ridicule is the new virtue signaling. Claudia declared a private state of emergency and locked herself and her family inside their home Purge-style. They have played 8 board games, gone through all the peanut butter crackers, watched 5 movies and their house smells like cheese for some reason. She’s about to call Ginny to see if she has any Xanax. (These are not remotely based on the real Krissy, Ginny, Neilie and Emmy. I don’t know any Claudia). Also, these clutches have all tested negative for Covid-19.
Meet Donna. Until two days ago she had been pretty satisfied with her house. She has nice taste and often receives compliments when people come to visit. She’s up on the latest decor trends and she loves spending money and time on little touches for her home (within reason).