Meet Julie. She is the most devoted wife and mother you'll ever meet. She's a tiny, sweet little thing who always seems to have it together. But Julie has a bit of a wild streak. Last weekend, while at an out-of-town baseball tournament for her son, Julie and a few other parents had a late lunch at a Mexican restaurant down the street from the ball field. Julie was feeling frisky and decided to order a "margarona". This is a giant margarita with a bottle of Corona dunked in upside down. Julie LOVES margaronas and although the glass was larger than her head, she proceeded to drink the entire thing, and peer pressure another mom to do the same. This worked beautifully because anything Julie is doing seems like a good idea, and the other mom had no fortitude. An hour later and Julie was flying high at the baseball game! Suddenly, the stress of the game was no longer present! Julie realized how much she ADORES the other parents in the stands! Even the other team's! Oh what a delightful game baseball is! What a sweet town they were in! Oh isn't that grass so green?? Everybody is so funny! Best. Game. Ever.
This is the new Amy. This Amy would never have a gross refrigerator. She's not that kind of person. She's clean, organized and fresh. She feels sorry for the people with dirty fridge shelves and expired chicken stock boxes. She can't imagine having a 2 year old jar of pepperoncini peppers with mold on the inside of the lid. That's no way to live and Amy is glad she's the right kind of person. Yesterday Amy had two bags of clothes designated for Goodwill in her dining room corner. They'd been there for 2.5 months, eventually becoming invisible.
She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, wreaking havoc anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like – she “just doesn’t feel right about leaving the house“ if she’s not completely put together.