Meet Julie. She is the most devoted wife and mother you'll ever meet. She's a tiny, sweet little thing who always seems to have it together. But Julie has a bit of a wild streak. Last weekend, while at an out-of-town baseball tournament for her son, Julie and a few other parents had a late lunch at a Mexican restaurant down the street from the ball field. Julie was feeling frisky and decided to order a "margarona". This is a giant margarita with a bottle of Corona dunked in upside down. Julie LOVES margaronas and although the glass was larger than her head, she proceeded to drink the entire thing, and peer pressure another mom to do the same. This worked beautifully because anything Julie is doing seems like a good idea, and the other mom had no fortitude. An hour later and Julie was flying high at the baseball game! Suddenly, the stress of the game was no longer present! Julie realized how much she ADORES the other parents in the stands! Even the other team's! Oh what a delightful game baseball is! What a sweet town they were in! Oh isn't that grass so green?? Everybody is so funny! Best. Game. Ever.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
