Meet Kailey. She’s an entrepreneur pioneering one of the newest, most unique and lucrative fields in recent memory. She is a one-woman show who managed to bring in over $200K in salary last year. Is she an influencer? Nope. Fashion designer? Nah. Dominatrix? Not anymore! Kailey opens toys on YouTube. She has one of those channels featuring just her hands and her affected, child-like voice where she opens toys and surprise eggs. In five years’ time, she has built one of the most popular channels of its kind, taking in gobs of subscription and advertiser money. When you watch her channel with your 3-year-old, you’re struck by her soft, adolescent, grating voice which seems to entrance your child and indicates an impossible sweetness embedded into her very soul. Off-camera, Kailey consistently cuts people off in traffic, shooting THEM the bird. She leaves her grocery cart in the parking spot instead of putting it back in the cart return. She litters and has a stash of 200 N95 masks that she wouldn’t dream of donating to the hospital. And what does she do with all of those toys she opens on her videos? She throws them in the trash, despite having a niece and nephew because really she can’t stand kids. She thinks charities are just glorified companies and she kicked a cat last week. Hard.
This is the new Amy. This Amy would never have a gross refrigerator. She's not that kind of person. She's clean, organized and fresh. She feels sorry for the people with dirty fridge shelves and expired chicken stock boxes. She can't imagine having a 2 year old jar of pepperoncini peppers with mold on the inside of the lid. That's no way to live and Amy is glad she's the right kind of person. Yesterday Amy had two bags of clothes designated for Goodwill in her dining room corner. They'd been there for 2.5 months, eventually becoming invisible.
She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, wreaking havoc anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like – she “just doesn’t feel right about leaving the house“ if she’s not completely put together.