Kailey

Kailey

Meet Kailey. She’s an entrepreneur pioneering one of the newest, most unique and lucrative fields in recent memory. She is a one-woman show who managed to bring in over $200K in salary last year. Is she an influencer? Nope. Fashion designer? Nah. Dominatrix? Not anymore! Kailey opens toys on YouTube. She has one of those channels featuring just her hands and her affected, child-like voice where she opens toys and surprise eggs. In five years’ time, she has built one of the most popular channels of its kind, taking in gobs of subscription and advertiser money. When you watch her channel with your 3-year-old, you’re struck by her soft, adolescent, grating voice which seems to entrance your child and indicates an impossible sweetness embedded into her very soul. Off-camera, Kailey consistently cuts people off in traffic, shooting THEM the bird. She leaves her grocery cart in the parking spot instead of putting it back in the cart return. She litters and has a stash of 200 N95 masks that she wouldn’t dream of donating to the hospital. And what does she do with all of those toys she opens on her videos? She throws them in the trash, despite having a niece and nephew because really she can’t stand kids. She thinks charities are just glorified companies and she kicked a cat last week. Hard.



Also in Purse Profiles

Rooney
Rooney

Rooney is constantly grooming herself which can seem very self-absorbed but then you look at her and she's so damn cute, and she just loves you so much you'll forgive her anything. Even the fact that she pukes...a lot. You've tried to explore whether or not she has a problem but you've basically just decided it's something you have to live with. Your husband also hates her, and basically refuses to acknowledge her but he'll never understand your bond. You love her in spite of the fact that she always wants to sit directly on your keyboard - how has it not broken yet? Or

Continue Reading

Abigail
Abigail

Abigail knew she had to step up her game. Now she will only listen to music on vinyl records, she has taken up smoking Virginia Slims, and is vegan, of course. Abigail wears thick-rimmed tortoise shell glasses that are not prescription and are totally unnecessary. She wore overalls last Tuesday. She is planning a pilgrimage next year to visit the childhood homes of dead Pulitzer Prize winning authors who have died what she considers to be "tragic deaths" in order

Continue Reading

GUCCI EMPIRE
GUCCI EMPIRE

Meet Donatella. Her family owns the Gucci empire and she's not subtle about it. Well...by her "family" it's really a second cousin once-removed by marriage on her step-mother's side. And Donatella lives in Columbia. South Carolina. Also her real name is Emily but she insists Donatella is a family name. That does not stop her from establishing her questionable lineage in the most public and sensational ways possible, all over town! 

Continue Reading