EVERYBODY LOOK AT KIM!!! She’ll make sure you do, because Kim is an attention whore. As a child Kim put on approximately 1,478 skits and small performances for unsuspecting friends of her parents’, neighbors, family pets and imaginary friends. As a teen, Kim attended an R.E.M. concert that was being recorded live, and discovered if she waited until a quiet moment she could scream really loud and garner enormous attention as well as be heard on the recording in perpetuity. From then on, Kim became a serious attention whore. Massive amounts of beads at Mardi Gras (if you catch my drift). Karaoke every weekend. Excessively loud sneezing. Exaggerated blood sugar issues. The loudest music at a red light. Record holder for most bachelorette parties attended. This all came to a head last spring when her boyfriend took her to the Masters and Kim yelled “Get it in the hole!” on Bubba Watson’s back swing, causing him to shank the ball and a nearby fan to call her the c-word. They were escorted out of the tournament, and Kim found herself single two days later. Kim sure is fun, though. You just have to let her be the star, and never take her anywhere quiet.
Tabitha! Play us something on the banjo!" Oh, Tabitha would demure. She would play bashful, vehemently shake her head that this is not the time and place, but of course everybody in the room would insist and begin playfully chanting her name. She would reluctantly break out her banjo and begin to pick the strings deftly.
Birds are her life. While you were binge watching Below Deck Down Under she was comparing the migratory patterns of the artic tern to the western meadowlark.
Has Delilah double-booked?? She definitely did the first week of summer and they missed VBS. She'll check her calendar. She does know that her son has a sleepaway baseball camp in three weeks. Maybe that's when she and her daughter go to the lake...
