Kim

Kim

EVERYBODY LOOK AT KIM!!! She’ll make sure you do, because Kim is an attention whore. As a child Kim put on approximately 1,478 skits and small performances for unsuspecting friends of her parents’, neighbors, family pets and imaginary friends. As a teen, Kim attended an R.E.M. concert that was being recorded live, and discovered if she waited until a quiet moment she could scream really loud and garner enormous attention as well as be heard on the recording in perpetuity. From then on, Kim became a serious attention whore. Massive amounts of beads at Mardi Gras (if you catch my drift). Karaoke every weekend. Excessively loud sneezing. Exaggerated blood sugar issues. The loudest music at a red light. Record holder for most bachelorette parties attended. This all came to a head last spring when her boyfriend took her to the Masters and Kim yelled “Get it in the hole!” on Bubba Watson’s back swing, causing him to shank the ball and a nearby fan to call her the c-word. They were escorted out of the tournament, and Kim found herself single two days later. Kim sure is fun, though. You just have to let her be the star, and never take her anywhere quiet.



Also in Purse Profiles

garland_bag_pink_palmer
PALMER PINK

Palmer Pink likes Hallmark movies, chocolate, puppies, Chanel, ruffles, diamonds, pedicures, cosmos, Audrey Hepburn movies, The Notebook and Kristen Hannah novels...

Continue Reading

Pebbles
Pebbles

Pebbles is a black, shiny shagreen clutch - and here's how that happened. Pebbles was on vacation in Clearwater and having the time of her life! First she and the girls went to the Hard Rock Cafe in Tampa - an electric blue hurricane in a collectible glass?? Yes please! They each bought new sunglasses and visors in the souvenir shops, played some putt putt at Smuggler's Cove Adventure Golf, and relaxed on the beach under the $25 umbrella they bought at Walmart that blew away with each gust of wind (you should have seen

Continue Reading

Rooney
Rooney

Rooney is constantly grooming herself which can seem very self-absorbed but then you look at her and she's so damn cute, and she just loves you so much you'll forgive her anything. Even the fact that she pukes...a lot. You've tried to explore whether or not she has a problem but you've basically just decided it's something you have to live with. Your husband also hates her, and basically refuses to acknowledge her but he'll never understand your bond. You love her in spite of the fact that she always wants to sit directly on your keyboard - how has it not broken yet? 

Continue Reading