FREE SHIPPING! ORDER TODAY!

  • Log in
  • Cart (0)
  • Checkout
  • SHOP 
    • Belts 
      • Belt Bands
      • Belt Hardware
      • Metal Belts
    • Bags 
      • Patterns
      • Solids
      • Box Clutches
      • Crossbody Bags
      • Designer Scarves
      • Chain Straps
      • All Bags
    • Gift Cards
    • Bracelets
  • MORE THE MERRIER
  • PERSONAS
  • WEDDINGS
  • CONTACT
  • SHOP 
    • Belts 
      • Belt Bands
      • Belt Hardware
      • Metal Belts
    • Bags 
      • Patterns
      • Solids
      • Box Clutches
      • Crossbody Bags
      • Designer Scarves
      • Chain Straps
      • All Bags
    • Gift Cards
    • Bracelets
  • MORE THE MERRIER
  • PERSONAS
  • WEDDINGS
  • CONTACT
Purse Profiles

Parker

June 11, 2020

Parker
Meet Parker. She’s a real show pony. Parker was a solid C student most of her life. She never really saw much past her immediate surroundings and life, but boy is she a looker! Thank goodness for her. Want to talk about a mortgage application? She has no idea what a mortgage is. Want to laugh about Kim Jung Un’s latest movie-style insults to the US? You’ll get a blank stare. Need to ask her what the latest is in the impeachment hearings? She thinks we’re talking about fruit. But if you need makeup tips or need celebrity gossip, Parker is your girl! She prances around town on the arm of her ambulance-chasing personal injury attorney husband, with perfect makeup, hair and jewelry. Her home is plastered with Live Laugh Love signs, and she collects Yankee Candles and celebrity fragrances. Parker laughs at every joke she hears, but understands none of them. She relishes cat-calls from construction workers, the homeless, teenagers - anybody. One day Parker’s beauty will go, and so will her husband. But until then her mane is shiny, her haunches are firm, and her teeth are strong. And she secretly likes the sting of a whip.

Tweet Share Pin It Email

Also in Purse Profiles

Garland Bags Meet Kim
Kim

November 29, 2023

Kate runs a thriving charity benefiting the homeless and somehow has time to be a doting mother to four children. And has her yoga certification. And no chin hairs....

Continue Reading

This is the NEW Amy
This is the NEW Amy

November 09, 2023

This is the new Amy. This Amy would never have a gross refrigerator. She's not that kind of person. She's clean, organized and fresh. She feels sorry for the people with dirty fridge shelves and expired chicken stock boxes. She can't imagine having a 2 year old jar of pepperoncini peppers with mold on the inside of the lid. That's no way to live and Amy is glad she's the right kind of person. Yesterday Amy had two bags of clothes designated for Goodwill in her dining room corner. They'd been there for 2.5 months, eventually becoming invisible.

Continue Reading

Meet Ssstella!
Meet Ssstella!

November 06, 2023

She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, wreaking havoc anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like – she “just doesn’t feel right about leaving the house“ if she’s not completely put together. 

Continue Reading

Customer Care
  • Search
  • Contact Us
  • Press
  • Wholesale
  • Find a Retailer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Returns & Exchanges
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Purse Profiles
Join Garland Bags

Want to get the first look at brand new clutches, exclusive news, & purse profile stories? Sign up here.

Who We Are

A luxury handbag company specializing in clutch purses made from designer, high-end fabrics and using specially sourced decorative hardware.


© 2023 Garland Bags.