Meet Sandra. I know that on the outside Sandra may seem like an elegant, responsible, maybe snooty lady, but rest assured there is more to her. Yes she loves chinoiserie, pearls and expensive clothes but in two days she will descend upon Burning Man with the intensity of a Jack Russell on coke, which she will be on. She will sample a variety of psychedelics, noodle for 5 hours straight one night, eat 36 grilled cheese sandwiches, sleep with one yoga instructor, 2 investment bankers, and catch the clap. She will ride on the back of a 10-seater bike that shoots flames with a 75 year old vagabond named Stu who communicates through "beep" sounds. When she is done she will come back home where she has a successful dental practice and resume her life as usual. In her office she plays an adult contemporary Spotify playlist, but in her car she plays Lizzo.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
