Lucinda

Lucinda

Meet Lucinda. She just finished watching Bridgerton on Netflix and now she has nothing else to live for. She’s binged it for the last 3 days and now Lucinda is hot and bothered, and despises modern life. Oh how she yearns for a nobleman who has gobs of money and estates, never seems to have to work and yet somehow knows how to hold his own in any fight. Is that too much to ask???  She’s even been speaking in a Madonna/Dorit hybrid British accent, and has been so demure that her husband keeps asking her what’s wrong. And now she wants tiny boobs but that ship has sailed. Her best friend is having to practically pin her down to prevent her from cutting bangs that end 3 inches above her eyebrows. Lucinda is already planning her trip to England for when this pandemic lets up. Her husband has certainly benefited from her Bridgerton viewing, if you know what I mean, and she’s been awfully animated during their lovemaking. Which has also prompted him to ask what’s wrong. Oh why can’t they have the passion of Daphne and Simon??? Oh well. A lady mustn’t allow impropriety to taint the marital union (did you hear the British accent?). She’ll have to wait for season 2!





Also in Purse Profiles

PALMER
PALMER

She just dragged the groom out onto the dance floor and tried to twerk in front of him. She heckled the single ladies gathered to catch the bouquet (something along the lines of “IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!”) and just asked the mother of the bride for a cigarette. 😬

Continue Reading

SHE'S PERFECT
SHE'S PERFECT

She’s not nearly as perfect as she seems, and that makes you like her a little more doesn’t it?

Continue Reading

Candi & Candlebox...
Candi & Candlebox...

Through a mouthful of braces and an unforgiving curtain of half-grown out bangs, she would croon the hypnotic melodies of her time: “Runaway Train”, “Fade Into You”, “Evenflo”...”Loser”. ...

Continue Reading