Meet Margaret. Her 7 year old daughter plays rec soccer and Margaret IS NOT HAVING ANY OF THE OTHER TEAM’S SH*T. Do you hear me?? Little McKenna loves to get out on the field and just have fun running around with her friends. And Margaret loves to watch McKenna having fun and is HERE TO TELL YOU THAT OTHER TEAM’S COACH IS OUT OF LINE! I mean look at him jumping up and down all over the sideline - it’s rec soccer for goodness sake! Her eyes may be hidden behind iridescent sport fishing sunglasses, and shaded by all variety of visor, but they miss nothing. Her ears are pricked for even the mildest insult or joke about her, her team or any of her fellow parents, who always seem to sit so far away from her?? She packs a state -of-the-art cooler for each game, along with the best pop up tent that money can buy. She will establish her turf and rule by intimidation over on that sideline. WATCH IT.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
