Meet Margaret. Her 7 year old daughter plays rec soccer and Margaret IS NOT HAVING ANY OF THE OTHER TEAM’S SH*T. Do you hear me?? Little McKenna loves to get out on the field and just have fun running around with her friends. And Margaret loves to watch McKenna having fun and is HERE TO TELL YOU THAT OTHER TEAM’S COACH IS OUT OF LINE! I mean look at him jumping up and down all over the sideline - it’s rec soccer for goodness sake! Her eyes may be hidden behind iridescent sport fishing sunglasses, and shaded by all variety of visor, but they miss nothing. Her ears are pricked for even the mildest insult or joke about her, her team or any of her fellow parents, who always seem to sit so far away from her?? She packs a state -of-the-art cooler for each game, along with the best pop up tent that money can buy. She will establish her turf and rule by intimidation over on that sideline. WATCH IT.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’