Meet Lauren. She’s a mom. Lauren has been there for her children every step of the way. There was that time her 2 year old got into his poopy diaper at quiet time and played in it for 30 minutes before he was discovered- poop was in every crevice in that room. Or how about the absolute agony she endured pushing her
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She just dragged the groom out onto the dance floor and tried to twerk in front of him. She heckled the single ladies gathered to catch the bouquet (something along the lines of “IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!”) and just asked the mother of the bride for a cigarette. 😬
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She’s not nearly as perfect as she seems, and that makes you like her a little more doesn’t it?
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McKenzie. She lives in Georgia (not Savannah) and owns Barland Bags (a luxury sandbag line). McKenzie is on day 5 of quarantine and whoooooeeee she’s looking ROUGH! The lack of schedule has resulted in McKenzie going days at a time without ever really getting dressed. She also hasn’t washed her hair in 4 days and hasn’t worn makeup in 3. Don’t even ask about her bikini area or overall shaving maintenance. 🙅♀️ McKenzie’s husband, bless him, did the grocery shopping the last couple of trips and loaded up on chips, crackers, cheese, boxed mac and cheese, ground beef, tater tots and chicken fingers. So McKenzie is up at least 2 pounds and it’s not helping with her motivation to stay clean and dressed. McKenzie works from home, sewing her sandbags and since her kids are now home from school, she yells all day long, and wine thirty is getting earlier and earlier. She hasn’t even started homeschooling - that’s next week. She has laid out a daily schedule for the kids that includes virtual field trips, stem projects, daily walks outside, and a daily life skill. But in reality, they will do their 1.5 hours of worksheets, an hour of reading (which will be them screwing around in their rooms with the doors closed) and then mostly them being bored and telling her every 15 minutes. For the next 8 months of this motherf#*$! quarantine. McKenzie’s favorite song is Dirty Diana.
