Meet Harriett. She’s trying to bring some spice back into her marriage. Harriett has been married to Dan for 18 years and, well, they don’t really SEE each other much anymore. Dan has put on a good bit of weight in the middle. His tiny little butt has gotten pretty flabby, and his nighttime gas has become quite a deterrent. And Harriett has also let things go here and there. Most of her underwear is cotton and tattered. She wears that damn brown robe every second she’s not fully dressed, and her nighttime gas has become quite a deterrent. But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed. She thought some role play might be exciting so she thought through all of Dan’s turn-ons and interests. Golf? Nah. Football? No. Cigars? Too 90’s. Finally she settled on role playing as a wife who desperately wants her husband’s help and advice on how to save more money. And spend less. She’ll whisper “budget me” in a breathy voice into his ear. Then maybe she’ll offer to balance their checking account in a come-hither voice. Then finally, when he can take the sexual tension no longer, she’ll moan “Roth IRA”. KAPOW
Meet Elizabeth. She has a giant Goldendoodle, Charles, whose exuberance for life can be endearing for some, but downright dangerous for others. Upon greeting newcomers to her home, Charles immediately jumps up to lick their faces - sometimes springing up into the air and crashing into their nose.
She goes into the pool restroom barefoot. She worked a stint in the infant room at a daycare center and was completely unphased by the diaper changing and poop getting on her fingers. Bodily fluids do not bother Judes, regardless of whether they come from human or animal.
Now that she's in her thirties, and still single, she finds it a bit harder to endure her romantic ideals but she will not give up hope! Surely there is a gorgeous man out there who loves to talk about his feelings, monogamy, loves to buy little presents for no reason, would totally get her sense of humor,