Meet Mimi. She’s an ex-pat currently living in France. She was a French major in college, which seemed like it would be a worthless degree until she met Jacques, a French poet in the US on a fellowship at Stanford. His sense of humor wasn’t the best but he was INTENSE and was the first man to ever make her...you know...in the bedroom. He implored her to move back home with him to Marseilles and she did. They lived together for a tumultuous month and a half (picture baguettes and handfuls of field flowers flung across the room in a rage) before she’d had enough and moved out, renting a garden apartment in the city center. She began waitressing and honed her French as well as her wine knowledge. That’s where she met Louis, one of the most notorious sommeliers in all of France. There were so many fantastic weekends in different French cities. SO. MUCH. WINE. It’s all a blur and during that time she did make her debut in a French independent film that required nudity and also animal masks but she was drunk most of those 8 months so the details really are hazy. As that fizzled out she met Henri, a wealthy financier who was 30 years her senior. Henri has a wonderful sense of humor, and all the passion of Jacques - even more connections than Louis, but he was developing liver spots and skin tags by now and had a horrid mole on his left ass cheek. But she could see past all that $omehow. He seemed to adore her and life with him was so ea$y. They married and lived in a lovely rambling estate in Provence. She indulged in rich food, rich wine, many friends, lots of books, and extensive European travel. He’s getting up there now, and she stands to inherit millions. Her favorite song is “If I Had a Million Dollars” by Barenaked Ladies...
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
