Meet Mimi. She’s an ex-pat currently living in France. She was a French major in college, which seemed like it would be a worthless degree until she met Jacques, a French poet in the US on a fellowship at Stanford. His sense of humor wasn’t the best but he was INTENSE and was the first man to ever make her...you know...in the bedroom. He implored her to move back home with him to Marseilles and she did. They lived together for a tumultuous month and a half (picture baguettes and handfuls of field flowers flung across the room in a rage) before she’d had enough and moved out, renting a garden apartment in the city center. She began waitressing and honed her French as well as her wine knowledge. That’s where she met Louis, one of the most notorious sommeliers in all of France. There were so many fantastic weekends in different French cities. SO. MUCH. WINE. It’s all a blur and during that time she did make her debut in a French independent film that required nudity and also animal masks but she was drunk most of those 8 months so the details really are hazy. As that fizzled out she met Henri, a wealthy financier who was 30 years her senior. Henri has a wonderful sense of humor, and all the passion of Jacques - even more connections than Louis, but he was developing liver spots and skin tags by now and had a horrid mole on his left ass cheek. But she could see past all that $omehow. He seemed to adore her and life with him was so ea$y. They married and lived in a lovely rambling estate in Provence. She indulged in rich food, rich wine, many friends, lots of books, and extensive European travel. He’s getting up there now, and she stands to inherit millions. Her favorite song is “If I Had a Million Dollars” by Barenaked Ladies...
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
