Meet Mrs. Claws. You’re much more acquainted with her husband, of course, with his miraculous trip to each child on earth every Christmas. His distribution of that perfect gift that was exactly what was requested - the delight contained in the stockings Christmas morning. Oh, isn’t he exalted! But what you may not know is that Mrs. Claws is the real power behind the man. Guess who spends all year caring for the elves? She arranged meals, ensures that bunks are kept tidy, tends to illnesses, oversees workroom cleanup efforts. Who do you think keeps tabs on naughty and nice behavior? Who do you think maintains the wish lists? Women are big on lists. Fat, bearded, jolly men…not so much. She’s so good at noting the casual mention of a wanted toy in June, sure to produce it come December. Each year, throughout the year, she scurries around keeping the entire North Pole crew on task, cleaning up mug after mug after mug of Santa’s cocoa. Pair after pair of his red thermal underwear just tossed haphazardly on the floor. Sometimes she longs for their college days when he was just Nick, the good time, slightly chubby linebacker type who could chug a beer in 30 seconds. Forty years later and that “ho ho ho” chuckle is on her nerves. But, she has an important role to play, keeping the ship tight. There are so many toys to be made and elves to be managed. She works diligently and, for her efforts, watches her husband receive all the glory. But she loves him, and is proud of what they’ve built together. And she’s excited for the Range Rover that she has the elves working on that will be Santa’s gift to her this Christmas. Her favorite song is “Santa Baby” of course. TAKE HER HOME!
Meet Candi. She has been telling everybody since October 15th (casually, in passing, to everybody she comes in contact with) that she is done with her Christmas shopping. It’s almost as if she doesn’t realize that this will elicit praise and envy…almost. But the little sniff she makes at the end of her sentence is her poker tell. It gives her away that she’s just knowingly bragged and is anticipating a wave of self-satisfaction as the recipient dutifully gushes over Candi and her superior life choices.
Meet Tina. She gets triggered easily, but she means well. Lately she’s been trying to clean up her language - for the kids. She’s learning how unsatisfying “gosh” and “darn” are. “Rats” is just completely off the table, and she’s on the fence about whether or not it’s ok to say “crap”.
Meet Debbie. She’s living that yacht life in 1982. She’s a divorcé making the most of her financial independence. Her yacht is named “Baker Street” so you could say her sax life is pretty good. 😎🎷 Debbie loves the smooth sounds of Steely Dan, and worships at the altar of Christopher Cross.