Meet Mrs. Claws. You’re much more acquainted with her husband, of course, with his miraculous trip to each child on earth every Christmas. His distribution of that perfect gift that was exactly what was requested - the delight contained in the stockings Christmas morning. Oh, isn’t he exalted! But what you may not know is that Mrs. Claws is the real power behind the man. Guess who spends all year caring for the elves? She arranged meals, ensures that bunks are kept tidy, tends to illnesses, oversees workroom cleanup efforts. Who do you think keeps tabs on naughty and nice behavior? Who do you think maintains the wish lists? Women are big on lists. Fat, bearded, jolly men…not so much. She’s so good at noting the casual mention of a wanted toy in June, sure to produce it come December. Each year, throughout the year, she scurries around keeping the entire North Pole crew on task, cleaning up mug after mug after mug of Santa’s cocoa. Pair after pair of his red thermal underwear just tossed haphazardly on the floor. Sometimes she longs for their college days when he was just Nick, the good time, slightly chubby linebacker type who could chug a beer in 30 seconds. Forty years later and that “ho ho ho” chuckle is on her nerves. But, she has an important role to play, keeping the ship tight. There are so many toys to be made and elves to be managed. She works diligently and, for her efforts, watches her husband receive all the glory. But she loves him, and is proud of what they’ve built together. And she’s excited for the Range Rover that she has the elves working on that will be Santa’s gift to her this Christmas. Her favorite song is “Santa Baby” of course. TAKE HER HOME!
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
