Meet Tina. She gets triggered easily, but she means well. Lately she’s been trying to clean up her language - for the kids. She’s learning how unsatisfying “gosh” and “darn” are. “Rats” is just completely off the table, and she’s on the fence about whether or not it’s ok to say “crap”. Tina was an accomplished curse artist prior to this, so she’s having a bit of an identity crisis in her more heated moments. The other day she had to wait at the dentist’s office for an additional 45 minutes…for the third appointment in a row. She marched up to the receptionist to express her disappointment and heard herself saying this was “big time stinko.” Big time stinko. Who had she become? Was this the same woman who once called her husband’s work nemesis a cockwaffle at the 2018 company Christmas party? She has to come to terms with her new role and she will embrace it with terms like “What the fun!” and “Cheese and rice!”. Or maybe “Bootless half-witted flap dragon”. Maybe not. Her favorite song is “I Swear” by All-4-One. TAKE HER HOME!
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
