Meet Tina. She gets triggered easily, but she means well. Lately she’s been trying to clean up her language - for the kids. She’s learning how unsatisfying “gosh” and “darn” are. “Rats” is just completely off the table, and she’s on the fence about whether or not it’s ok to say “crap”. Tina was an accomplished curse artist prior to this, so she’s having a bit of an identity crisis in her more heated moments. The other day she had to wait at the dentist’s office for an additional 45 minutes…for the third appointment in a row. She marched up to the receptionist to express her disappointment and heard herself saying this was “big time stinko.” Big time stinko. Who had she become? Was this the same woman who once called her husband’s work nemesis a cockwaffle at the 2018 company Christmas party? She has to come to terms with her new role and she will embrace it with terms like “What the fun!” and “Cheese and rice!”. Or maybe “Bootless half-witted flap dragon”. Maybe not. Her favorite song is “I Swear” by All-4-One. TAKE HER HOME!
Meet Candi. She has been telling everybody since October 15th (casually, in passing, to everybody she comes in contact with) that she is done with her Christmas shopping. It’s almost as if she doesn’t realize that this will elicit praise and envy…almost. But the little sniff she makes at the end of her sentence is her poker tell. It gives her away that she’s just knowingly bragged and is anticipating a wave of self-satisfaction as the recipient dutifully gushes over Candi and her superior life choices.
Meet Mrs. Claws. You’re much more acquainted with her husband, of course, with his miraculous trip to each child on earth every Christmas. His distribution of that perfect gift that was exactly what was requested - the delight contained in the stockings Christmas morning. Oh, isn’t he exalted!
Meet Debbie. She’s living that yacht life in 1982. She’s a divorcé making the most of her financial independence. Her yacht is named “Baker Street” so you could say her sax life is pretty good. 😎🎷 Debbie loves the smooth sounds of Steely Dan, and worships at the altar of Christopher Cross.
