Natalie retired from a brief stint as a Playboy Bunny five years ago when she met Alan "Sleeper" Stanton while serving him a cocktail. Alan was recognizable from his local commercials as the "Mattress King of Poughkeepsie" despite his total lack of charisma, or even vocal inflection, in all his years starring in his own commercials. Natalie sauntered up to his table in those iconic ears, cuffs and tail, took one look at his shiny complexion and unfortunate eyebrow mole, and knew this was the one. Sure she got a whiff of gum disease as he regaled her, in a sultry monotone voice, with a behind-the-scenes look at the sexy world of wholesale mattresses, but he owned TEN mattress stores! He drove a Cadillac SUV for crying out loud! They went out to dinner the very next night - there was truffle oil on the breadsticks (!!) - and then he took her back to his place. Travertine as far as the eye could see! An indoor fountain in the foyer! Stainless steel appliances throughout, for crying out loud! Natalie knew this was her ticket to the next level. She bid farewell to her fellow bunnies just 3 short months later, and married Alan in a quaint ceremony with 600 of their closest friends and family. There were swans, ornate thrones at the head table for the bride and groom, and even a six string quartet for crying out loud! It was a celebration fit for a queen...Mattress Queen of Poughkeepsie, that is. If you recognize Natalie, it's probably from the new commercials...
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’