Meet Ssstacey. She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, creating drama anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like - she just doesn’t feel right leaving the house if she’s not completely put together. She told Kim last night that she overheard some ladies at tennis saying that she drinks too much. She hit on poor, pudgy Tom at Lisa’s birthday dinner just to show that she could make him blush, and then announced “Tom are you actually blushing??” loudly to the entire table. Stacey says things like “don’t worry about what people like Dana think - nobody’s perfect” or “you should really take advantage of Mary’s weight loss and see if she’ll give you some of her gorgeous dresses”. She tempts and tempts you with wine and juicy, ripe gossip and then when you finally eat the apple she slithers away to betray you and reveal your admissions. Her favorite song is “Cold Hearted Snake” by Paula Abdul.
Meet Elizabeth. She has a giant Goldendoodle, Charles, whose exuberance for life can be endearing for some, but downright dangerous for others. Upon greeting newcomers to her home, Charles immediately jumps up to lick their faces - sometimes springing up into the air and crashing into their nose.
She goes into the pool restroom barefoot. She worked a stint in the infant room at a daycare center and was completely unphased by the diaper changing and poop getting on her fingers. Bodily fluids do not bother Judes, regardless of whether they come from human or animal.
Now that she's in her thirties, and still single, she finds it a bit harder to endure her romantic ideals but she will not give up hope! Surely there is a gorgeous man out there who loves to talk about his feelings, monogamy, loves to buy little presents for no reason, would totally get her sense of humor,