Meet Ssstacey. She slithers her way in and out of friend groups, creating drama anywhere she can. She told you last week how much she admires you for not caring what you look like - she just doesn’t feel right leaving the house if she’s not completely put together. She told Kim last night that she overheard some ladies at tennis saying that she drinks too much. She hit on poor, pudgy Tom at Lisa’s birthday dinner just to show that she could make him blush, and then announced “Tom are you actually blushing??” loudly to the entire table. Stacey says things like “don’t worry about what people like Dana think - nobody’s perfect” or “you should really take advantage of Mary’s weight loss and see if she’ll give you some of her gorgeous dresses”. She tempts and tempts you with wine and juicy, ripe gossip and then when you finally eat the apple she slithers away to betray you and reveal your admissions. Her favorite song is “Cold Hearted Snake” by Paula Abdul.