Meet Patricia. She’s the one with salsa dripping down her chin from the nachos she just made as her morning snack. The quarantine has really done a number on her self control. Yesterday she had 4 pieces of buttered toast for breakfast. Since she is homeschooling she did a morning snack for the kids, at which point she grabbed an apple for herself out of guilt about the toast. She got hungry again at 1:00 and ate the leftover pizza from the kids’ lunch - but just 2 pieces (that’s not so bad, right??). She was ravenous at 3:00 and all she could think about was the family size box of Cheezits in the pantry which they don’t normally have. She told herself she’d just have one handful and then had 3 because they are crack. For dinner, she was going to do grilled chicken or something but then her husband suggested they support their local Mexican restaurant (what kind of monster doesn’t support local restaurants at a time like this???) so she had cheese dip and enchiladas, takeout. Since she’s been sleeping in, she stayed up late watching a documentary that night, alone, and couldn’t resist the siren song of quick homemade nachos at 11 pm- 3 bags of chips in the pantry and tons of cheese and salsa in the fridge, plus fresh guacamole cannot be resisted. Then she went to bed full of self-loathing, noticing that her underwear felt tight. Tomorrow she’d do better but here she is, more nachos and it’s not even 11:00. Okay, she promises she’ll eat nothing but fruits and vegetables the rest of the day...
Meet Elizabeth. She has a giant Goldendoodle, Charles, whose exuberance for life can be endearing for some, but downright dangerous for others. Upon greeting newcomers to her home, Charles immediately jumps up to lick their faces - sometimes springing up into the air and crashing into their nose.
She goes into the pool restroom barefoot. She worked a stint in the infant room at a daycare center and was completely unphased by the diaper changing and poop getting on her fingers. Bodily fluids do not bother Judes, regardless of whether they come from human or animal.
Now that she's in her thirties, and still single, she finds it a bit harder to endure her romantic ideals but she will not give up hope! Surely there is a gorgeous man out there who loves to talk about his feelings, monogamy, loves to buy little presents for no reason, would totally get her sense of humor,
