Palmer Pink likes Hallmark movies, chocolate, puppies, Chanel, ruffles, diamonds, pedicures, cosmos, Audrey Hepburn movies, The Notebook and Kristen Hannah novels...
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Pebbles is a black, shiny shagreen clutch - and here's how that happened. Pebbles was on vacation in Clearwater and having the time of her life! First she and the girls went to the Hard Rock Cafe in Tampa - an electric blue hurricane in a collectible glass?? Yes please! They each bought new sunglasses and visors in the souvenir shops, played some putt putt at Smuggler's Cove Adventure Golf, and relaxed on the beach under the $25 umbrella they bought at Walmart that blew away with each gust of wind (you should have seen
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Rooney is constantly grooming herself which can seem very self-absorbed but then you look at her and she's so damn cute, and she just loves you so much you'll forgive her anything. Even the fact that she pukes...a lot. You've tried to explore whether or not she has a problem but you've basically just decided it's something you have to live with. Your husband also hates her, and basically refuses to acknowledge her but he'll never understand your bond. You love her in spite of the fact that she always wants to sit directly on your keyboard - how has it not broken yet?
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Meet Rachel. She’s trying very, very hard to be snarky but it’s falling flat. When you asked her how her day was going last week, she replied “better than yours” and then nudged your arm to indicate she’s kidding. Ooookay... At Christmas she sent out a long update letter with her card detailing family members, where her attempt at wit failed to hide her utter contempt for her husband. It was awkward for all readers. Rachel loves to post 1-2 sentence observations on social media as large white letters against various colorful backgrounds as if they may go viral at some point. These observations are usually about the idiocy of “people these days”, “most people” or begin with “you’d think people would learn by now”. Thank goodness for us she is among the few privileged enlightened so that we people can see the true lengths of our stupidity. This is all born from a severe self-consciousness of course. Headgear during the day until 9th grade, an unfortunate facial birth mark, and an endless string of misunderstood jokes. Rachel once farted loudly during a presentation in her public speaking class in college and still thinks about it monthly, 17 years later. Perhaps one day she’ll learn that you can only pull off snarky if you’re actually funny. But probably not. Her favorite song is still “I Hate Everything About You” by Ugly Kid Joe.
