Rooney is constantly grooming herself which can seem very self-absorbed but then you look at her and she's so damn cute, and she just loves you so much you'll forgive her anything. Even the fact that she pukes...a lot. You've tried to explore whether or not she has a problem but you've basically just decided it's something you have to live with. Your husband also hates her, and basically refuses to acknowledge her but he'll never understand your bond. You love her in spite of the fact that she always wants to sit directly on your keyboard - how has it not broken yet? Or
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Abigail knew she had to step up her game. Now she will only listen to music on vinyl records, she has taken up smoking Virginia Slims, and is vegan, of course. Abigail wears thick-rimmed tortoise shell glasses that are not prescription and are totally unnecessary. She wore overalls last Tuesday. She is planning a pilgrimage next year to visit the childhood homes of dead Pulitzer Prize winning authors who have died what she considers to be "tragic deaths" in order
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Meet Donatella. Her family owns the Gucci empire and she's not subtle about it. Well...by her "family" it's really a second cousin once-removed by marriage on her step-mother's side. And Donatella lives in Columbia. South Carolina. Also her real name is Emily but she insists Donatella is a family name. That does not stop her from establishing her questionable lineage in the most public and sensational ways possible, all over town!
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This is Shareen. Shareen is what you might call a “type A” personality. I will say that she looks polished and put together ALL the time. Because she is. Her daily schedule is planned down to the minute and she plans out her outfits at the beginning of each week. Shareen has the same breakfast each morning - a green smoothie and a hard boiled egg. She takes her coffee with exactly 1 tablespoon of cream and 1 sugar cube. She has a bowel movement at 7:43 each morning, followed by a thorough shower, of course. She insists that she could never skip washing her hair because it would be “a total grease pit!” but the reality is that she’s never even tried. Shareen is always cold, goes to bed by 9:30 each night, gets up an hour earlier than necessary to get a good start on her day, and cannot remember the last time she let her gas tank get below a quarter of a tank. Greasy food makes her feel “icky” and she has claimed to have an allergy to red dye 40. Once when she and her husband were getting frisky, he got carried away with the role play and swept everything off the table onto the floor. She tried to go along with it but she ended up pushing him off her and yelling “we do not live like animals, dammit!” before furiously cleaning up the mess. Shareen really wants to lighten up and even started allowing herself one glass of wine in social settings (once she had two and ended up admitting to an acquaintance that she has sexual fantasies about her UPS man). I will not say Shareen is going to give you a wild night, but she will help you get your shit together.
