Meet Dolly. She thought it might be fun to do one of those “Unpopular Opinions” lists. Further evidence that Dolly is a monster:
Loves glass cutting boards. Can’t wait to get out of her work clothes and into some comfy jeans at night. Doritos are overrated. Rolling Stones are overrated. “Christmas Vacation” is overrated. She walks around the vacation rental shared by 3 families, barefoot for the entire week. Lacroix is gross. 3 Doors Down is the voice of our generation. There’s nothing cozier than sleeping in socks (thermostat set at a cozy 75). Checkers has the best fries.
I know, I know. She thinks she can get away with this madness just because she’s beautiful. She sure looks good with white jeans and...literally any color top.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
