This is Stacy and she is so very much fun. She's the lift of the party and queen of karaoke ((usually "I Want to Dance with Somebody"). She's the last one awake, the last one to leave and she always gets handsy at the end of a big night. But Stacy is extremely forgetful. She hasn't been to the dentist in 3 years because she had to leave a message canceling her last appointment, and never remembered to call back and reschedule. She once sent her daughter to school in her nightgown thinking in was PJ day, but she had forgotten that it was the following week. She'll need to help with the therapy bills in a few years. Ever self-unaware, however, Stacy refers to herself as OCD even though she's a total shit show. She always wants her kitchen counters cleared off, but she has 18 old, stale French fries strewn throughout her car. She organizes her linen closet once a year but she owes the library $150 in lost books. She irons the collars of her button down shirts but there is a yogurt container in the back of her fridge that holds a previously undiscovered mold species that may honestly be the cure for cancer. Stacy is trying, and she's adorable and fun so we'll smile and nod forever if she wants us to.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
