The College Friends

The College Friends

These are four old college friends who are going on a girls trip to the beach. They desperately need this getaway. They spent about an hour debating over text whether they should get trip insurance after a 3-day back and forth over the actual beach house. One refuses to sleep in a bunk bed, and two say they’ll sleep anywhere (but will be annoyed to get the bunk bed). Two of them will plan a diet leading up to the trip, but one won’t really even start it until a week out. They will spend three days reminiscing, telling stories, complaining about their husbands, complaining about their kids, complaining about their vaginas. They will spend an accumulated 1.5 hours talking about sex. They will go through 15 bottles of wine, and one of them will bring some weed and a vape pen, which 3 of them will partake in, and feel like maybe they aren’t that old after all. They will all order salads at dinner and then bake a frozen pizza back at the house afterwards and eat the whole thing. They will be friends until they are little old ladies. 



Also in Purse Profiles

Rooney
Rooney

Rooney is constantly grooming herself which can seem very self-absorbed but then you look at her and she's so damn cute, and she just loves you so much you'll forgive her anything. Even the fact that she pukes...a lot. You've tried to explore whether or not she has a problem but you've basically just decided it's something you have to live with. Your husband also hates her, and basically refuses to acknowledge her but he'll never understand your bond. You love her in spite of the fact that she always wants to sit directly on your keyboard - how has it not broken yet? Or

Continue Reading

Abigail
Abigail

Abigail knew she had to step up her game. Now she will only listen to music on vinyl records, she has taken up smoking Virginia Slims, and is vegan, of course. Abigail wears thick-rimmed tortoise shell glasses that are not prescription and are totally unnecessary. She wore overalls last Tuesday. She is planning a pilgrimage next year to visit the childhood homes of dead Pulitzer Prize winning authors who have died what she considers to be "tragic deaths" in order

Continue Reading

GUCCI EMPIRE
GUCCI EMPIRE

Meet Donatella. Her family owns the Gucci empire and she's not subtle about it. Well...by her "family" it's really a second cousin once-removed by marriage on her step-mother's side. And Donatella lives in Columbia. South Carolina. Also her real name is Emily but she insists Donatella is a family name. That does not stop her from establishing her questionable lineage in the most public and sensational ways possible, all over town! 

Continue Reading