These are four old college friends who are going on a girls trip to the beach. They desperately need this getaway. They spent about an hour debating over text whether they should get trip insurance after a 3-day back and forth over the actual beach house. One refuses to sleep in a bunk bed, and two say they’ll sleep anywhere (but will be annoyed to get the bunk bed). Two of them will plan a diet leading up to the trip, but one won’t really even start it until a week out. They will spend three days reminiscing, telling stories, complaining about their husbands, complaining about their kids, complaining about their vaginas. They will spend an accumulated 1.5 hours talking about sex. They will go through 15 bottles of wine, and one of them will bring some weed and a vape pen, which 3 of them will partake in, and feel like maybe they aren’t that old after all. They will all order salads at dinner and then bake a frozen pizza back at the house afterwards and eat the whole thing. They will be friends until they are little old ladies.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
