Meet Amy. Yesterday, her refrigerator shelves were disgusting. They had dried barbecue sauce on them, something clear and sticky had leaked and then dried in the back, they had the imprint of countless milk cartons and half-emptied cans. The produce drawers were filled with bits and pieces (juices) of wasted and rotted produce. Disgusting. But today...today Amy tackled it and spent an hour scrubbing, tossing and organizing her refrigerator. This is the new Amy. This Amy would never have a gross refrigerator. She's not that kind of person. She's clean, organized and fresh. She feels sorry for the people with dirty fridge shelves and expired chicken stock boxes. She can't imagine having a 2 year old jar of pepperoncini peppers with mold on the inside of the lid. That's no way to live and Amy is glad she's the right kind of person. Yesterday Amy had two bags of clothes designated for Goodwill in her dining room corner. They'd been there for 2.5 months, eventually becoming invisible. But today, after she finished with the fridge project she put them in her car and drove them to Goodwill. Now she's the kind of person who donates to charity, whose dining room is strictly used for dining, and plays classical music for no reason. She is slightly disgusted by those people who drive around with bags of donated clothing for months on end. She's relieved she's not like them.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’
