Meet Tracy. Recently she happened upon a reel on Instagram about a fostered stray scat with a large cancerous mass on its chin. It looked a lot like that kid from the movie Mask, and Tracy is a cat person so she was transfixed by the horror of the cat’s condition, and the natural draw to a defenseless animal. Thus, she lingered over the video for 15 seconds, and that’s when her life dramatically changed. Every time she goes onto her social media, she is bombarded with animals besieged by various malformations and afflictions. Farms in South America full of hundreds of dogs in wheelchairs. Cats with oral cancer. Cat’s with one eye. Cats with no eyes. Dogs with deformed faces that look like Picasso paintings. A pet racoon subculture. Deer with maimed legs from traps. Rabbits with one testacle. Ducks with crooked beaks. Otters without bladders. Foster cats that have been brought from the brink of despair. Squirrels that drink milk out of teacups. It’s madness and she doesn’t know where it begins and where it ends. She fears even the slightest pause in her scroll will only strengthen the cursed algorithm. She has an ever-present pit in her stomach throughout the day, and she is on the verge of draining her savings account to donate to the ASPCA.
As Courtney was handed the rule pamphlet, she swore she saw the Da Vinci code. Symbols swirled around, English words became foreign and strange. She somehow now knows how to set up a VCR after reading them, but still does not quite understand how to win atMahjong.
Last week she ordered each of them one of those gadgets that shatters your car window in case of a full water immersion. She also ordered a wind up radio. You know, in case the power grid goes down. She changed the air filters in the house last month, and commented that Olive Garden is a heck of a deal if you get a family sized pan with a five dollar take-home add-on. She’s been cracking open a Bud heavy after yoga class lately, and finally decided to try out a MyPillow.
But here she sits, six years after her appointment with WIDK reporting on milk prices, beauty pageants, the occasional car theft, Alderman election scandals, and downtown green space clean up efforts. This stupid little town doesn’t deserve her. She’s meant for greatness, and she despises their perky greetings on the streets....
