Meet Tracy. Recently she happened upon a reel on Instagram about a fostered stray scat with a large cancerous mass on its chin. It looked a lot like that kid from the movie Mask, and Tracy is a cat person so she was transfixed by the horror of the cat’s condition, and the natural draw to a defenseless animal. Thus, she lingered over the video for 15 seconds, and that’s when her life dramatically changed. Every time she goes onto her social media, she is bombarded with animals besieged by various malformations and afflictions. Farms in South America full of hundreds of dogs in wheelchairs. Cats with oral cancer. Cat’s with one eye. Cats with no eyes. Dogs with deformed faces that look like Picasso paintings. A pet racoon subculture. Deer with maimed legs from traps. Rabbits with one testacle. Ducks with crooked beaks. Otters without bladders. Foster cats that have been brought from the brink of despair. Squirrels that drink milk out of teacups. It’s madness and she doesn’t know where it begins and where it ends. She fears even the slightest pause in her scroll will only strengthen the cursed algorithm. She has an ever-present pit in her stomach throughout the day, and she is on the verge of draining her savings account to donate to the ASPCA.
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’