Meet Kelly. She's your ride or die and you've known each other since you were kids. Once in high school you were both at a party together, talking to some boys. You tooted and everybody heard it. Kelly said "oops sorry, that was me" and claimed it. In college you were convinced that your boyfriend was cheating so Kelly accompanied you on two weeks of stalking to confirm your suspicions, then poured sugar in his gas tank. She always organizes your birthday parties. In fact, once she organized and hosted a huge party for you just because you'd been having a hard year and she wanted to celebrate you! Upset because your husband doesn't "notice you anymore"? She'll have you over to her back porch for wine on a Monday night and talk you through it. Did Natasha give you a weird look at the pool the other day? Kelly now hates Natasha. Have too much to drink at the girls night out and now you may have to throw up? Kelly's holding your hair before you even ask. You definitely want Kelly by your side!
But tonight Harriett is going to rev Dan’s engine! She started with an immensely painful wax this morning which was also quite demoralizing, as Harriett certainly lived up to her name. Tonight she’ll corner Dan after the kids are in bed.
Meet Dottie.She’s that person you know who is obsessed with the Olympics.She hosts an opening ceremony viewing party each year and commands an intense focus normally reserved for a lottery drawing or a breaking news announcement
Of course she will have a cellophane wrapped gift for each teacher containing a candle, lotion, chocolate covered almonds and a $25 target gift card to be hand-delivered by their children on the first day.Her back windshield will be covered with bubble letters written in shoe polish exclaiming ‘Back to School for Paxton and Claxton!’